Thursday, September 18, 2008

Can I just be BLUNT?

There is no excuse for B.O.
I mean, even animals clean themselves.... right?

That being said I am the first to admit that I have on occasion forgotten to put on my deodorant. I never thought that I would be like that but it happens. So as a precaution I ALWAYS let me repeat ALWAYS carry a small stick of deodorant in my purse! If you have had the misfortune to smell me I sincerely apologize.

Now let me tell you about my rather unpleasant adventure from this afternoon.
Everyone knows I really cannot stand to smell someone else stink, when there is no excuse for it. I used to be rather outspoken about it. However, I am now a little less mean about it and I really try to be compassionate. Truly it is only the work of God in my life. May he keep working !!!!!

Today Ashton and Elyssa and I went on our usual weekly grocery shopping trip. Everything went very smooth and we were rounding the last bend in the store when low and behold I am totally and completely assailed by a smell, no an odor, so nasty I almost passed out. Ashton immediately buried his little head into his shirt. Elyssa grabbed her nose and held her breath, looking at me to save her. Here I am trying to be the voice of reason quietly saying "just be polite, walk on don't say anything...." Phew finally we were out of the green cloud and the kids decide to let fly exactly what is going on in their precious little minds. I looked up and saw a back packer, that matched the one that created that stink just moments earlier. I quickly shushed the kids and when we were clear I told them that good hygiene is not a natural instinct for some people but rather a learned behavior. These people had apparently never learned the behavior. Does it seem right that I should have to encounter this smell more than once in a lifetime......NO!!!! But apparently the Devil had other plans. Do you know that in every way I tried to avoid those two men. We were in a rather large store and in my efforts to evade the stinkers. I ran smack into the green cloud 4 times!!!!!! 4TIMES!!!!! when I say I ran into the green cloud you have to understand that even from 50 feet away you could smell them. Every last time that I ran into them, They crossed MY path. OK now how bad could it really have been you ask? Well let me tell you, (this may get graphic) Elyssa asked, "Mom are you crying?" Right about the time I started gagging and dry heaving in the middle of the store, And then she told me that she threw up in her mouth.... Ashton was very quiet but he did put his whole head into his shirt as we were walking by the cloud. And asked how much longer??? For some one like me who is generally a BO-aphobe. This was literally a horrific terrorizing waking nightmare!
I think I may need therapy...... but more than that THEY need to go run in the sprinklers at the nearest public park. For them, I am praying that they get caught up in a really hard rain storm.


Jesse, Christa and Marshall said...

There is no worse smell than B.O. My mom and I were in a dressing room one time when we smelled that lovely scent. She pulled a bottle of nail polish out of her purse and opened it up just so we could get any other smell in the dressing room besides that.

Erin Trimble said...

Stacey, my friend, you crack me up! I don't know how you did it: continued shopping, I mean. You are a way more dedicated shopper than I am; I would have left my cart where it was sitting and returned the next day! My favorite part of the story: Elyssa saying that she threw up in her mouth! Oh, the horror!!! :0)

Loves, E