I have been going through a ton of stuff lately (not the kind you throw out, but the emotional stressful stuff) well, for the last year I suppose... So many things have been overwhelming or lacking (spiritually speaking) which can be over taxing in itself. I don't exactly know where to begin or what to share. I almost feel as if I have been just existing for the last year and I actually was sharing with one of my girlfriends that I feel, I have been in survival mode. I know a lot of you out there can relate. Maybe I was depressed or overspent but for sure I felt like something in me was broken. I almost felt like I was going crazy at times.
Today feels like a turning point.
I can tell you that I have been sick this last week. And for some reason I am feeling so much more relaxed, now that I am getting over this gunk, than I have in a very long time. Maybe because I took a whole sick day yesterday and went back to bed after breakfast. I just feel different today, I have energy and I feel like I am actually looking forward to this holiday season.
I had my Hubby get out the tree today (don't know what I would do with out that man! He loves me so well!). I have been making ornaments as well, cute paper ones. Elyssa and I are doing the Little House on the Prairie curriculum and thought it would be appropriate to make our own paper ornaments and also some strings of popcorn for garland. We are still going to put on white lights, just because I think candles are a bit overboard, haha. That is a whole other kind of stress I am not willing to get myself into.
I went to church today like I do every week. And I usually have a ton to do while I am there. The same was true today. Maybe a blanket of snow covering everything and making it look beautiful helped make the change I am feeling. (Did I mention I hate winter and snow?) Maybe it was my praying "God, Help me feel joy again." over and over and over again. Do you know how hard it is to pray when you feel spiritually constipated?
What ever the change I feel different today and that is to say, I was laughing all the way home with my kids and husband. We had a great time at Costco... Weird right? I feel rested and at peace, and at church I actually felt like I was not there to serve coffee and make the sound board do its job. But I was there to worship. I feel like there is something freeing up in me. I admit I danced a little back there in the booth. Not holy-roller-dancing-in-the-aisle kind of stuff but dancing none the less.
And when I went down to put a load of laundry to wash, even there I felt a sense of joy, accomplishment, and well being. Hmmm, I think the winds of change are blowing. I even put in another load after the first one. Crazy, I tell ya. Did you know I lit some candles too? I am going to have to reign this thing in a little before I pull a muscle or something.
(Did you count how many times I put the words feel or felt? me neither. I think there are too many. I know I am not supposed to rely on my feelings but that is the only way I FEEL like I can express what I am trying to say.)
Well I guess I better just stop now and give it all some time to sink in so I am going to leave you with a recipe for cranberry vinaigrette. This is great if you have a can of cranberry sauce that you need to use up.
In a food processor combine:
1/2 can cranberry sauce
1/2 an onion
2tsp Italian herb seasoning
1 tbsp poppy seeds
1/4 cup sugar
and process until pureed
next add
1/2 cup vinegar
1/4 cup oil
1/4 cup water
1 1/2 tsp Dijon mustard
Process until well combined.
The End Result
I served this over salad greens with crumbled blue cheese, croutons, and some diced apples or pears. Throw on some candied nuts or sunflower seeds if you have them on hand.
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